WINSTON-SALEM, NC - (DoghouseDaily) - In an effort to boost sales, three undergarment industry giants are continuing their media blitz to encourage potential customers to purchase more underwear, in lieu of washing their existing collection.Hanesbrands, Victoria's Secret, and Fruit of the Loom, now known as Victoria Hanes Fruit Underwear, have consolidated their businesses in what could lead to enormous losses in revenue for the laundry detergent industry.
The dialogue of the most recent advertisement:
"Need a change of comfort down under, but out of clean undies?OxiClean heirs released a statement about their plan to unveil their own line of "self-washing underwear". The slogan is rumored to be 'Buy Just One, & Your Shopping Days are Done".
Why wait up to TWO HOURS to wash, dry, and fold recycled, faded, shrunken underwear?
Why spend your money on heavy, stinky bottles of highly toxic laundry detergent?
Do your body a favor, and shop for NEW underwear!
[Jack Black & Winona Ryder appear in their skivvies, embracing]
Victoria Hanes Fruit Underwear: It feels so nice, I won't wear it twice."
Representatives from Tide, Cheer, and Downy couldn't be reached for comment, but are reportedly continuing business as usual.
