Packers Update: AJ Hawk Gets Greedy In New Contract

GREEN BAY, WI - (The Comedy News) - Green Bay Packers inside linebacker, AJ Hawk, was re-signed to a four-year deal with the reigning Super Bowl Champions. 

In addition to the $6-7 million he will make each year, there are several things Hawk required to be guaranteed in his contract before he would commit:

◊ A Shamwow, Magic Bullet, SlapChop, and George Foreman grill

 ◊ The pacecar for the 2011 Indianapolis 500.

◊ $5000-per-month stipend to shop at Target.

◊ Jim Carrey's car in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

◊ Above-ground pool for his childhood mobile home in Ohio.

◊ The Isle of Man.
◊ Squeeze bottle of Famous Dave's barbecue sauce.

◊ Night on the town with Brady Quinn's sister.

◊ Brett Favre's old number.

◊ Monthly appointments to go mallard hunting with former Vice-President Dick Cheney.


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