NEWARK, NJ - (@TheComedyNews) - German basketball star Heinrich "Heinie" von Frankenstein was selected first overall by the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2011 NBA draft .
The 8'3" behemoth from Munich is expected to make an immediate impact with his abilities to block, rebound, and scare the wits out of opposing players and fans alike.
"This man could signal a new era of the league where corpses can play and owners do not have to worry about injuries," commented NBA Commissioner David Stern. Stern also noted that the league has planned to make rule changes to accommodate corpses including the "The Mike Tyson Rule", no gnawing or eating of human flesh on the court or benches.
Frankenstein immediately signed a contract for 5 years worth $97 million and has endorsement deals with Taco Bell and Volkswagen. Upon signing with the Cavaliers, Heinie commented, "Me vahhnt braaaains," in a deep drawl.
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