- Al Qaeda Installs New Monkey Bars at Their Headquarters
- Local Newscaster Seems Oddly Disappointed To Report No Fatalities
- Billions of Wild Animals Thrilled about National Park Shutdown
- Who Will Be Waiting In Line to Get the New iPhone on Release Day?
FULL ARCHIVES UNDER CONSTRUCTION
- EXCLUSIVE: God's Bathroom/Cigarette Break Schedule - The Best Times to Sneak Food on Yom Kippur
- 1982 in Perspective: The Last Time the Brewers and Cardinals Met in the Playoffs...
- Ryan Braun Needs a Ride to Synagogue for Yom Kippur After Playoff Game
- Ben Franklin Befriends Steve Jobs in Heaven; "Mighty Impressed" By iPhone
- Fat Guy Tells Concerned Nation He Won't Start Running Anytime in the Future
- Two Hikers Released from Iran Prison Back in Jail After Wearing Giants Gear at Philadelphia Eagles Game
- "Elitist Loser Trophy" To Be Awarded to Winner of Michigan-Notre Dame Game
- Maryland's New Football Jerseys Recalled After Being Found to Induce Vomiting
- POLL: 100% of Big Ten Football Fans Don't Know What the New Divisions Are Named
- DC Hit With Third Natural Disaster This Week As Mount Vernon Erupts in a Volcanic Fury
- Hurricane Irene on Pace to Wash Away Cast of 'Jersey Shore'
- Fox "News" Fined for Improper Overuse of Adverbs
- Obama Takes Another Vacation on his Ranch in Crawford, Texas
- London Riots Launch Sex Pistols Back onto Billboard Charts
- The Hidden Pork of the Budget Ceiling Deal
- HISTORIANS: Foggy Bottom Originated as 1775 Slang for "Swamp Ass"
- Bachmann Blames Heatwave on "Illegal" Mexican Air
- LEAKED: Netflix's Original Draft of Price Change Email
- NASA: Astronauts Will Ride The Bus To Space
- Top 10 Most Patriotic American Films Since 1776
- Quarterback Russell Wilson To Be Named New Chancellor of University of Wisconsin
- Frankenstein Drafted #1 By Cleveland Cavaliers in NBA Draft
- Bob Saget to Play Anthony Weiner in Made-for-TV Movie, "Weinergate"
- Steve Jobs Announces black iPhone's Bid for Presidency
- Meteorologists: DC Interns Are the Cause of DC Humidity
- Lactose-Intolerant Indy 500 Winner Absent from Victory Party
- Sarah Palin Releases iTunes Library; Proves Taste for Hip Hop
- Hats To Be Banned at Kentucky Derby Due to Rise in Gang Violence
- 50 Million Young Adults Nationwide Say "America, F!#k Yeah" At Least Once Today
- TSA To Keep Up Fight Against Shampoo, Toothpaste
- Jerry Seinfeld Celebrates 57th Birthday Alone; Friends Watching Royal Wedding
- King Ralph Snubbed from Royal Wedding Guestlist
- Donald Trump Unveils His Official Douchebag Certification Papers
- William and Kate To Just Honeymoon in London
- Super-Reform Jewish Family Confuses Passover with Yom Kippur
- 3-Day Waiting Period Now Required Before Buying A Ski-mask
- The Best of the Worst Books Left on the Shelves at Borders
- John Boehner Becomes Cheetos Spokesman
- APRIL FOOLS: Ghostbusters III To Be Released July 1, 2011
- Charlie Sheen Writes Missed Connection for Jennifer Grey on Craigslist
- Marquette and UNC Cleared to Let Michael Jordan and Dwayne Wade Play In Sweet Sixteen
- USA To Sell Coveted UN Security Council Vote On eBay
- Scott Walker Moves Wisconsin State Capitol Building to Brookfield Square
- Fred Durst Celebrates Ten-Year Anniversary of "My Way" Alone At The Barbershop
- Bomb-Sniffing Dog Indicted For Corruption Scandal
- Packers Update: AJ Hawk Gets Greedy In New Contract
- Charlie Sheen's Picture To Be Added to New Dictionary Definition of "Sleazy"
- Wisconsin Teacher Caught Spending Wastefully at Walgreens
- "Home Alone" Still Tops List of Highest Grossing Films With No Use of Special Effects or Animation
- Scott Walker Officially Ends Super Bowl XLV High For Wisconsin
- Bob Woodward Ruins Carl Bernstein’s Surprise Party
- Dallas Cowboys Say Super Bowl Is Invalid Because of Botched National Anthem
- Rand McNally Considers Adding Green Bay to Maps
- George W. Bush Cheers the Green Bay Package Guys over the Pittsburgh Robbers
- Troy Polamalu and Clay Matthews Make a Hair-Razing Super Bowl Wager
- Packers and Steelers Fans 78% Less Productive During Last Two Weeks
- Pauly Shore Celebrates 43rd Birthday at Local 7-Eleven
- Obama Wears Piano Tie for 2011 State of the Union Address
- Urlacher: "I Should Have Played QB In The NFC Championship"
- Bears and Packers Fans Figure Out How They Can Help Their Team Win
- "Ferris Bueller Museum Should Open in 2011," Dreams Two Fans
- "NFL Sit 360" Encourages Fans To Just Sit And Watch Football For 6 Hours A Week
- John Boehner's Acting Career
- Weather Channel Still Having Capslock Issues
- David Akers Forced By Team Mates To Dress As Scooby Doo, Wait For Vick
- Nicholas Cage Celebrates Birthday With Explosions, Car Chase
- Snooki Probably Engaged to Hugh Hefner, Or Something
- Los Angeles Bars Will Run Out of Beer on New Year’s Eve
- Vice President Biden Literally Breaks a Tie in Senate
- Will Smith To Run For Congress, Unsure of Which District
- Congress Repeals Term-Limit Ban
- Packers Coaches Shocked To Learn An Injured Quarterback Can Be Benched
- Morning Person Puts Everyone Else Down Again
- TCU Fans Read Up On Wisconsin
- Big Ten Changes Name to Fat Fourteen
- Facebook Increases Likelihood of Accidental "Poke"
- LSAT To Offer Open-Note Exam; Still Just As Difficult
- Badger Fans Research Ways To Taunt TCU At Rose Bowl
- Obama Ejected From Pick-Up Basketball Game
- US News & World Report Releases Its Own Asinine College Football Poll
- Sexual Assault On Bus Leads to William Madison's Expulsion
- NFL To Eliminate Hard Rock Music From Stadiums
- Study: Email Addresses Are Always Listed In Order of Importance
- Prince William of Wales Looks Forward To Life With A Last Name
- Wisconsin Basketball Team Scores First Touchdown In Indiana Blowout
- George Steinbrenner Signs Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, Cy Young to Softball League In Hell
- Ferris Bueller Caught in Truancy Scandal
- Millions of Conan Fans Scramble to Figure Out What Channel Is TBS
- Today In History - 55 Years Ago - New Kid Wearing Red Life-Vest Gains Popularity Quickly
- Democrats Expected to Lose House, Senate & Presidency; Gain Supreme Court
- NY Yankees To Be Special Guest Umpires for World Series
- Colbert-Stewart Rally Expected To Ruin Halloween Party Attendance Nationwide
- Favre Buys iPhone, Leaves NFL To Focus on His Texting Career
- Anti-Washington Candidate Vows, "If Elected, I Won't Even Set Foot in DC"
- Republicans and Democrats Reach Compromise on Springsteen
- Law Professor to Teach Controversial "Honesty-Only" Policy
- Bankrupt Detroit Relocates to Chicago
- Underwear Industry Unleashes Negative Ads Against Doing Laundry
- Fidel Castro Revealed to Be Robin Williams; CIA Triumphs in Long-Awaited Bay Of Pigs Rematch
- White Trash Dream Team of Jared Allen, AJ Hawk, Jeremy Shockey Sign with Miami Dolphins
- Study: T-9 Users Get Defensive Around iPhone Users
- BP PATENTS PHRASE, "MAKING THIS RIGHT"
- 28TH AMENDMENT RATIFIED; WYCLEF JEAN & ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER TO VIE FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012
- OUT OF THE CLOSET: "I AM SOBER"
- Coach Joe Paterno Refuses to Comment About Acting Career
- KE$HA FORGETS HER AUTO-TUNE IN TAXICAB; CAREER CANCELED
- FAVRE TO RETURN TO HIGH SCHOOL TEAM FOR 2010 SEASON
- Bristol Palin Annoys America With Another Kid That No One Cares About
- Al Qaeda Installs New Monkey Bars at Their Headquarters
- Local Newscaster Seems Oddly Disappointed To Report No Fatalities
- Billions of Wild Animals Thrilled about National Park Shutdown
- Who Will Be Waiting In Line to Get the New iPhone on Release Day?
FULL ARCHIVES UNDER CONSTRUCTION
- EXCLUSIVE: God's Bathroom/Cigarette Break Schedule - The Best Times to Sneak Food on Yom Kippur
- 1982 in Perspective: The Last Time the Brewers and Cardinals Met in the Playoffs...
- Ryan Braun Needs a Ride to Synagogue for Yom Kippur After Playoff Game
- Ben Franklin Befriends Steve Jobs in Heaven; "Mighty Impressed" By iPhone
- Fat Guy Tells Concerned Nation He Won't Start Running Anytime in the Future
- Two Hikers Released from Iran Prison Back in Jail After Wearing Giants Gear at Philadelphia Eagles Game
- "Elitist Loser Trophy" To Be Awarded to Winner of Michigan-Notre Dame Game
- Maryland's New Football Jerseys Recalled After Being Found to Induce Vomiting
- POLL: 100% of Big Ten Football Fans Don't Know What the New Divisions Are Named
- DC Hit With Third Natural Disaster This Week As Mount Vernon Erupts in a Volcanic Fury
- Hurricane Irene on Pace to Wash Away Cast of 'Jersey Shore'
- Fox "News" Fined for Improper Overuse of Adverbs
- Obama Takes Another Vacation on his Ranch in Crawford, Texas
- London Riots Launch Sex Pistols Back onto Billboard Charts
- The Hidden Pork of the Budget Ceiling Deal
- HISTORIANS: Foggy Bottom Originated as 1775 Slang for "Swamp Ass"
- Bachmann Blames Heatwave on "Illegal" Mexican Air
- LEAKED: Netflix's Original Draft of Price Change Email
- NASA: Astronauts Will Ride The Bus To Space
- Top 10 Most Patriotic American Films Since 1776
- Quarterback Russell Wilson To Be Named New Chancellor of University of Wisconsin
- Frankenstein Drafted #1 By Cleveland Cavaliers in NBA Draft
- Bob Saget to Play Anthony Weiner in Made-for-TV Movie, "Weinergate"
- Steve Jobs Announces black iPhone's Bid for Presidency
- Meteorologists: DC Interns Are the Cause of DC Humidity
- Lactose-Intolerant Indy 500 Winner Absent from Victory Party
- Sarah Palin Releases iTunes Library; Proves Taste for Hip Hop
- Hats To Be Banned at Kentucky Derby Due to Rise in Gang Violence
- 50 Million Young Adults Nationwide Say "America, F!#k Yeah" At Least Once Today
- TSA To Keep Up Fight Against Shampoo, Toothpaste
- Jerry Seinfeld Celebrates 57th Birthday Alone; Friends Watching Royal Wedding
- King Ralph Snubbed from Royal Wedding Guestlist
- Donald Trump Unveils His Official Douchebag Certification Papers
- William and Kate To Just Honeymoon in London
- Super-Reform Jewish Family Confuses Passover with Yom Kippur
- 3-Day Waiting Period Now Required Before Buying A Ski-mask
- The Best of the Worst Books Left on the Shelves at Borders
- John Boehner Becomes Cheetos Spokesman
- APRIL FOOLS: Ghostbusters III To Be Released July 1, 2011
- Charlie Sheen Writes Missed Connection for Jennifer Grey on Craigslist
- Marquette and UNC Cleared to Let Michael Jordan and Dwayne Wade Play In Sweet Sixteen
- USA To Sell Coveted UN Security Council Vote On eBay
- Scott Walker Moves Wisconsin State Capitol Building to Brookfield Square
- Fred Durst Celebrates Ten-Year Anniversary of "My Way" Alone At The Barbershop
- Bomb-Sniffing Dog Indicted For Corruption Scandal
- Packers Update: AJ Hawk Gets Greedy In New Contract
- Charlie Sheen's Picture To Be Added to New Dictionary Definition of "Sleazy"
- Wisconsin Teacher Caught Spending Wastefully at Walgreens
- "Home Alone" Still Tops List of Highest Grossing Films With No Use of Special Effects or Animation
- Scott Walker Officially Ends Super Bowl XLV High For Wisconsin
- Bob Woodward Ruins Carl Bernstein’s Surprise Party
- Dallas Cowboys Say Super Bowl Is Invalid Because of Botched National Anthem
- Rand McNally Considers Adding Green Bay to Maps
- George W. Bush Cheers the Green Bay Package Guys over the Pittsburgh Robbers
- Troy Polamalu and Clay Matthews Make a Hair-Razing Super Bowl Wager
- Packers and Steelers Fans 78% Less Productive During Last Two Weeks
- Pauly Shore Celebrates 43rd Birthday at Local 7-Eleven
- Obama Wears Piano Tie for 2011 State of the Union Address
- Urlacher: "I Should Have Played QB In The NFC Championship"
- Bears and Packers Fans Figure Out How They Can Help Their Team Win
- "Ferris Bueller Museum Should Open in 2011," Dreams Two Fans
- "NFL Sit 360" Encourages Fans To Just Sit And Watch Football For 6 Hours A Week
- John Boehner's Acting Career
- Weather Channel Still Having Capslock Issues
- David Akers Forced By Team Mates To Dress As Scooby Doo, Wait For Vick
- Nicholas Cage Celebrates Birthday With Explosions, Car Chase
- Snooki Probably Engaged to Hugh Hefner, Or Something
- Los Angeles Bars Will Run Out of Beer on New Year’s Eve
- Vice President Biden Literally Breaks a Tie in Senate
- Will Smith To Run For Congress, Unsure of Which District
- Congress Repeals Term-Limit Ban
- Packers Coaches Shocked To Learn An Injured Quarterback Can Be Benched
- Morning Person Puts Everyone Else Down Again
- TCU Fans Read Up On Wisconsin
- Big Ten Changes Name to Fat Fourteen
- Facebook Increases Likelihood of Accidental "Poke"
- LSAT To Offer Open-Note Exam; Still Just As Difficult
- Badger Fans Research Ways To Taunt TCU At Rose Bowl
- Obama Ejected From Pick-Up Basketball Game
- US News & World Report Releases Its Own Asinine College Football Poll
- Sexual Assault On Bus Leads to William Madison's Expulsion
- NFL To Eliminate Hard Rock Music From Stadiums
- Study: Email Addresses Are Always Listed In Order of Importance
- Prince William of Wales Looks Forward To Life With A Last Name
- Wisconsin Basketball Team Scores First Touchdown In Indiana Blowout
- George Steinbrenner Signs Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, Cy Young to Softball League In Hell
- Ferris Bueller Caught in Truancy Scandal
- Millions of Conan Fans Scramble to Figure Out What Channel Is TBS
- Today In History - 55 Years Ago - New Kid Wearing Red Life-Vest Gains Popularity Quickly
- Democrats Expected to Lose House, Senate & Presidency; Gain Supreme Court
- NY Yankees To Be Special Guest Umpires for World Series
- Colbert-Stewart Rally Expected To Ruin Halloween Party Attendance Nationwide
- Favre Buys iPhone, Leaves NFL To Focus on His Texting Career
- Anti-Washington Candidate Vows, "If Elected, I Won't Even Set Foot in DC"
- Republicans and Democrats Reach Compromise on Springsteen
- Law Professor to Teach Controversial "Honesty-Only" Policy
- Bankrupt Detroit Relocates to Chicago
- Underwear Industry Unleashes Negative Ads Against Doing Laundry
- Fidel Castro Revealed to Be Robin Williams; CIA Triumphs in Long-Awaited Bay Of Pigs Rematch
- White Trash Dream Team of Jared Allen, AJ Hawk, Jeremy Shockey Sign with Miami Dolphins
- Study: T-9 Users Get Defensive Around iPhone Users
- BP PATENTS PHRASE, "MAKING THIS RIGHT"
- 28TH AMENDMENT RATIFIED; WYCLEF JEAN & ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER TO VIE FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012
- OUT OF THE CLOSET: "I AM SOBER"
- Coach Joe Paterno Refuses to Comment About Acting Career
- KE$HA FORGETS HER AUTO-TUNE IN TAXICAB; CAREER CANCELED
- FAVRE TO RETURN TO HIGH SCHOOL TEAM FOR 2010 SEASON
- Bristol Palin Annoys America With Another Kid That No One Cares About
